“Todd, there’s no way I can tell people this,” remarked ‘Mr. Confused Client.’
“I know. You don’t have to. This is YOUR private zone.” I replied, pointing to his head.
“Really?! And you’re telling me, other people think and feel this way too?”
“Absolutely. This IS natural. But society and a lot of questionable advice have caused people to believe otherwise.”
→ And then I hit him with a punch to the thoughts.
“People are wired for average,” I continued.
This was a conversation with a top-level athlete I spoke with a loooong time ago.
What were we talking about?
Client: Pro Soccer Player
Setting: Skype Call (It was 2006)
Session: Our first meeting together
Need: He was referred to me, because another client told him he was getting bad advice from others and it would ruin his career.
…getting back to the conversation…
“Marcus” (client) was conflicted.
He’d had a ton of success, and achieved it with a set of mindset and attitude rituals he started to believe were wrong.
But when he started to improve his personal life, and reading self-help books…
The ideas he read about being successful socially, were conflicting with his mindset on the field.
Which caused him to think he was doing something wrong, and he started to doubt himself.
Which caused his performance to plummet.
Like a rock in a balloon.
(I’m talking from easily the best player on his team to coaches wanting to trade him away.)
Which was when another client connected us, and we had this conversation.
“What do you mean wired for average?”
“Listen, society and culture are filled with questionable ideas and beliefs people accept as gospel.
We’re taught to not stand out, to blend in, and it’s selfish to think about yourself.
People think it’s toxic to be driven.
But, those are the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that trap people into worlds they hate.
The social world wires people for average. When they’re actually designed to excel… if they would just trust themselves.
And that’s your issue. You’ve allowed toxic thoughts to poison your mind, and it’s showing up on the field.
You’ve used a natural energy and expression coming from your core to get you to the top of your game.
And over the past 8 months, you’ve started to question yourself, question your ways, and now you’re questioning your sanity.
Here’s the truth.
You had it right all along. It’s everyone else that’s off, not you.”
Marcus sat there, staring off into space for a few seconds, thinking about what I’d said.
“But when I’m at the press table or getting interviewed, and they ask me what I was thinking out there. Or how I got prepared for today’s match.
If I told them what I was ACTUALLY thinking, they’d think I’m crazy. I could never say what I’m thinking.”
“Woah woah woah… do you believe you HAVE TO tell them? Since when does anyone have free rein to climb into your mind and access your thoughts.
You don’t owe anyone anything.
You know what’s different about you?
You think the same thoughts as others, except you act on them. You embody them. And when you do, you’re at the top of the game.
While other people think similar thoughts, and then question them. Dissect them. And judge them against what they ‘think’ they’re supposed to be thinking.
And they wire themselves for average.
You’re not average.”
I only talked to that client one more time.
And it was only for him to follow up and say:
“Thanks for hitting the reset button.”
Marcus was back at the top of his game.
After spending 26+ years ‘reshuffling the deck’ in top performers heads. My favorite thing about coaching the inner game is it only takes ONE better or new idea to re-shift someone’s world…
One paradigm shift.
One new thought
One discarded belief.
And in my next post, I want to share one of the most toxic ideas that’s taken over the world of social media and self-help in the past decade…
If you like staying trapped, don’t read it.
But my mission is to free good people with goals from hidden strings holding them back.
So let’s clip a string…